For drinking Moms and Grannies [ shared ]

The teacher gave an assignment to her fifth grade class:
Get your parents to tell you a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine
pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over
enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and
a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle
wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle
of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she
killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell
you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's drunk."